I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
