Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
