So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
