Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We need to feng shui this bitch.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
