I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
