there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
