I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
