i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
