You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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