this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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