This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
