She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
