My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
