There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
