you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have fence marks all over my body
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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