just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
