dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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