i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
