She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
