dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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