I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
