My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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