Where are you?
In a non slutty way
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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