OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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