There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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