They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize