my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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