Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize