I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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