so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
