Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
