You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
