I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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