you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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