So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
