My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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