I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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