You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
