Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
