Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
