its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
