I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
