Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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