Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
