we're blogging at a bar
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
