discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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