just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
