I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
