The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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