How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
