in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pooping to opera.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize