Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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