dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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