cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
