My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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