Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
