she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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