I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
