Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
with your own penis?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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