How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
