don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize